Have you ever looked to the stars and wondered where God was? Have you felt the emptiness of your soul and longed to feel anything from God? Have you ever questioned his existence or his involvement? Have you ever accused Him of being uncaring? Have you ever been so broken that your heart ached and longed to be comforted, but comfort never came? Have you struggled from the depths of a tortured soul, tired of crying out to a God who did not answer?
I was devastated when I learned that a loved one was caught using drugs. I watched helplessly as they spiraled into a place of despair. I grieved the loss of the person I knew. It hurt. I sat on my back porch one night, as this friend cried and asked me where was God? In the heart of this good Christian girl I was crying out to know where He was, also.
God I am not the one who went astray. Why are you silent? Where are you? Do you know what is happening to me and my family? Do you feel the sorrow and pain that is ripping at my soul?
Maybe you understand this kind of pain. Maybe you felt the grip it takes as it holds you in a paralyzed state? Maybe you have looked to the stars and screamed to God, looking for answers.
If you have you are not alone. In agony on the cross, Christ cried out to his father. He felt total separation from God, so that we would never have to experience separation. (Matthew 27:46)
Nevertheless, I hear you say, “How does that help when I am hurting and I feel separated from God?”
You may not like the answer, it is odd.
You cry, scream if you need to, and pour your broken heart out before God. You search for him and continue to ask him where he is? Then in the midst of your brokenness you turn your heart to Him and acknowledge that you know you are His and you are going to trust Him even if you do not feel him. You are going to Trust Him for who He is even if your heart is still breaking. Even if He does not miraculously fix the problems you want Him to solve.
This worked for me. I believe it can work for you. More importantly it worked for Christ. In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus Christ cried out to His father and He ended his prayer with, “not my will, but thine, be done. (Luke 22:42)”
If Christ found comfort this way we can, also. It may not fully come today. Yet, we can rest in the peace from trusting Him in the middle of the pain.
What heartache are you struggling with today, that allows your soul no rest? What do you desire from God?
Comment below or send me an email I would love to pray for you today.