God Is Love, I Am Just To Messed Up For Him To Love Me

God is love. I believe it! I have known John 3:16 ever since I was a small child. I do not doubt that God is a loving God, I just doubt that he will love me.

I heard religious leaders and teachers talk about how bad it was to doubt God, and I did believe it was true that he was a loving God, so I pushed back my feelings. I would not express my thoughts outside of my mind, and I would stifle them as quickly as possible.

All my effort was not good enough. I lived plagued with fear, anxiety, and depression.

I wanted what was right. I looked right on the outside. Why couldn’t I experience peace?

Have you ever wondered if God if love you. Maybe you had knowledge of God’s love, yet you doubted He would love you.

I know if you were standing in a church and someone asked you did God love everyone? You would say yes, definitely. If someone asked does God love you? You would again say yes, he does.

You would never argue that God does not love you.

I knew this truth in my mind. However, I did not let the truth internalize in my heart.

Here is how this internal battle plays out in everyday life.

  1. No lasting peace or joy
  2. Isolation from God and others
  3. Closed off from spiritual growth

To reach a place of healing, I had to face myself and face my God.

Here are some steps to reach healing.

  1. Admit faulty thinking – Allow yourself to admit what you are thinking. Do not push the thoughts aside and ignore them. They are running your life you should be able to admit them.
  2. Tell God about it – Telling God the truth is not an easy task, especially when you are a people pleaser. Well, he already knows, so you might as well let it out. There is something therapeutic that happens when you tell God what is going on in your heart. It is in this place of honesty that healing comes.
  3. Constantly retelling truth – In the Bible this is called renewing your mind (Ephesians 4:23). As you retrain your mind with truth from God’s word. It may look like learning new verses or writing out note cards with a prewritten script or prayer to read to yourself when you are experiencing doubt.
  4. Trusting God and His Word – Reminding yourself to trust God even if you do not believe it for yourself at the moment. Sample prayer – “Dear God, I feel like you won’t love me if I don’t act right. But your word says  you do love me(Ephesians 2:4) and that you will never leave me alone (Hebrews 13:5). So, I am going to trust what I know from your word not what I feel. Please help my accept your love and trust you better.”

You can have peace with God. you were not made to live in constant defeat. Talk to God today and begin recovery. Consider talking to a trusted friend, such as a pastor, Sunday school teacher, or a friend who can help support you. Let me know if there is any way I can help. I would love to hear from you.

“But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, by grace ye are saved; (Ephesians 2:4-5)”

Question: What keeps you from feeling like God loves you? Comment below. I would love to hear how God has helped  or is helping you.

 

awomansprayerjournal2small



I am a speaker, writer, and life coach that empowers women to reclaim influence, discover their voice, and achieve success in their life and ministry. I am also, a pastors wife and a mother and teacher to five spirited children. I love the quiet of the morning and good cup of coffee. I relish my alone time before the world awakes.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *