When You Are Far From Amazing

I smiled as I read the heart felt words from a previous valentine. My daughter had found an old card and she was beaming as she laughed at the song it played. It was the perfect card from my husband, Stephen. When you opened the card you heard the tune “Anything you want you got it.” It fits our relationship perfect. He teases that I always get what I want and well I cannot deny it’s truth. He simply signed the card “You’re amazing.”

After I had smiled at seeing the words, I cringed deep in my heart. Just yesterday I was far from amazing. Yesterday we had a major blow out. By blow out I mean, I behaved badly and my husband took it, for the most part. Oh, God why do I do that? Why, do I allow my behavior and emotions to get out of control?

Why is it the things we are so set on accomplishing, so often become the things we neglect. “For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do (Romans 7:19).”

It is as if the war is being fought in our soul. An all-out fight to the death for who will come out victorious.

It is a battle! A struggle between a successful life and defeated life. The battle is fought in the mind and played out in the areas that are most important.

“For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death (Romans 7:22-24)?”

As Christian women here are 3 ways to overcome this battle of the mind.

1. Acknowledge your actions.

Sometimes we look at things that happen and we regret that it happened without getting to the place of admitting we personally were in the wrong. Recognizing what you did as wrong goes beyond making things right or deciding to never do something like that again. It reaches a level of truth that is hard to admit.

2. Resist justifying your actions.

This point is major. It is so hard to not justify what happened. In almost every action, there are reason why that was a good choice or a necessary choose.

I yelled at my kids, but I had to they were so disobedient. It was their fault.

I was angry at my husband, but I had to be he was so inconsiderate of my feelings. It is his fault.

I did not do what I told God I would do, but I tried life is too hard. It is Gods fault for not helping.

I did not finish needed work, but I can’t be expected to when I have so many other responsibilities. It is not my fault it is life is too hectic.

Justifying our behavior keeps us tied to the behavior. Refusing to justify our behavior and attitudes prepares our mind for growth.

3. Look outside of yourself for power.

What is your first reaction when you know you have done something you acknowledge is wrong? If you are an average woman your reaction is probably similar to mine. “I will do better next time.” You reach out and muster up some much needed will power. However again if you are like me your will power fails more than it succeeds.

To find help that is powerful enough to help with the struggles of the mind you need to look outside of yourself for the answer.

As Christian women, we have an answer. We have a power that is greater than the internal wars we fight. That answer is Jesus Christ. “O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 7:24-25a)”

Turn to Christ and literally ask for help and guidance.

4. Reconcile the wrongs committed.

Seek to make right any wrongs you have committed. This reveals the seriousness of your heart to do right. It is a humbling experience to admit wrong before another.

a. Look for to God for forgiveness. Go before God admitting your wrong and ask Him to forgive you. We know he will because he promises to in His Word.

b. Go to anyone who was affected by your actions and seek personal forgiveness. We are not promised forgiveness if we do this, but we have a better chance at restoring hurt relationships if we do. We should do this even if the other person involved is not mad at us. It will clear our conscience and help us never want to do that again.

5. Escape guilt.

Once these steps have been taken we will begin another battle in our mind, this time it will be with guilt. This guilt will make us feel horrible with what happened, especially if it something that has occurred more than once. This battle will defeat future growth as it ties us to the past.

In Christ, we do not have to live with the guilt. He offers freedom and restoration. He does not hold us down and continue to punish us as our mind will.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2).”

We have freedom in Christ to overcome these battles in our mind. Will you turn to Him today for the help you are longing to receive?


Question: What changes are you making in your life where you are relying on the power of Christ to overcome? Answer below in the comments section.


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I am a speaker, writer, and life coach that empowers women to reclaim influence, discover their voice, and achieve success in their life and ministry. I am also, a pastors wife and a mother and teacher to five spirited children. I love the quiet of the morning and good cup of coffee. I relish my alone time before the world awakes.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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