If I Am Trusting God Why Am I Sad?

I pulled the comforter up around my face and tried to block the noise. While the baby slept, my older children watched a movie while I hid from the world, on the couch, in my cocoon of blankets. “Oh God, I just want to stay here. I do not ever want to get up again.” I stayed there for two hours until the baby cried and God said, “Mary, you have responsibilities.”

That morning my Papaw on my Dads side, had passed away. I did not think it would be so hard. I did not realize the crushing feeling my heart would feel. Two weeks earlier my Papaw on my Moms side had died. I made it through that funeral unscathed, but how could I do this again. How could I face death with all of its finality, all again so soon. My heart felt crushed. I could not breath. I wanted to stay in my hidden environment and never again face the world.

Over the next few weeks, I fought off the sadness. It was a deep sadness that seemed to engulf my entire being. I was trusting God and talking to Him about everything. I felt so close to Him. Why, then was my heart overwhelmed in sadness.

Surely, a Christian woman who has God, His Son, and the hope of heaven should be happy.

Is that what God wants from us, good happy women who never cause trouble or need His power to take the next breath.

Do you know that deep sadness? When your soul is crushed under the weight of sadness it carries.

Have you ever heard…

…you need to come into the doctor’s office to hear the test results

…they will not make it through the night

…the baby no longer has a heartbeat

…the pain cannot be helped

…there is no hope

…it is drugs and they have been using for quite some time

…there is no cure

…I do not love you

When life hits us in the face and takes our breath God wants to be the one to hold us.

He never expected us to be strong Christians who are never fazed by the hurts in life.

There is a time to weep and a time to mourn.

Each season is right and proper in its time.

As we embrace the pain, allowing the sadness to pour through our being, we can rest securely in the arms of a compassionate God who longs to hold us through our hurt.

We have a comforter. He cares. He has the strength to hold us when we cannot stand on our own.

Sadness and heartbreak is a season in life.

It is natural.

It will turn.

It may be winter, but spring will come in time.

“1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up

 that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,

and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1:8)”.

 

 

Question: What has God carried you through when you did not think you would survive? Comment below

I am a speaker, writer, and life coach that empowers women to reclaim influence, discover their voice, and achieve success in their life and ministry. I am also, a pastors wife and a mother and teacher to five spirited children. I love the quiet of the morning and good cup of coffee. I relish my alone time before the world awakes.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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